


it just is

by jichangs



Category: The Boyz (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Idols, Fluff and Angst, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, Lee Juyeon (The Boyz) is Whipped, Lowercase, M/M, Slow Burn, Song Lyrics, changmin is whipped too, for changmin but who isn't, the mature rating is for a few swear words
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:49:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28431189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jichangs/pseuds/jichangs
Summary: but with you, it’s differentI don’t know why,it just ismy take on the masterpiece 'it just is' by Jae of Day6 and Seori, projected onto jukyu
Relationships: Ji Changmin | Q & Lee Juyeon, Ji Changmin | Q/Lee Juyeon
Comments: 2
Kudos: 45





	1. it's just how it is

**Author's Note:**

> the jukyu tag on here is so dry so i thought i would try to saturate it a little. this is the first time in a long time since i did any creative writing so i hope its okay. 
> 
> p.s. if you've never listened to It Just Is by Jae of Day6 and Seori, please check it out, i promise you won't regret it. :))

**_사람에게_ _질려_ _하루_ _끝에_ _난_ _밀려 이젠_ _신경_ _안_ _써_ _  
__(i get tired of people at the end of the day, and now i don’t care anymore)  
i just wanna sleep, until the day before I met you_**

juyeon has always been popular with people since he was a high school student. with his charming personality and his boyish smile, there’s not a lot of people that doesn’t end up being attracted to him at first sight. confessions and gifts from secret admirer are some of the things juyeon has become accustomed to since his high school days, and this followed all the way into his career where he has become a common interest amidst the idols.

behind the stages, cameras and lights and away from the eye of the public, juyeon is no stranger to the phone numbers in his inkigayo sandwiches or the occasional shy smiles sent his way in the waiting rooms of each entertainment venue. everyone knows juyeon is nice, sometimes too nice and has always been someone that is easy to approach. his friends and family have all warned him over and over about how people will take advantage of his kindness whether intentional or not.

despite all the warnings and red flags, juyeon never falters in being kind. that said, it’s a given that juyeon has had occasional flings and hook-ups out of kindness, with barely valid reasonings that include a lot of ‘it won’t hurt to give them a chance’, ‘maybe they’re different’, ‘they seem genuine’ and ‘i don’t want to offend or hurt them’. even so juyeon has always been on the receiving end of a number of heartbreaks along the way and a lot of rumours. rumours where juyeon’s name is more often than not tethered to the bad side of the story, which no one gives him a chance to explain on how it’s not true. as it turns out, not many people wear their hearts on the sleeves like juyeon and not many people are as kind as him.

juyeon has learned the hard way of how cruel people can be along the way, although he believes he must have been doing something wrong on his part for all his relationships to end up in that way or even just ending in general. he's always wondered why he can never seem to obtain a long-term relationship or even a slightly long fling. questions like ‘am i that boring’, ‘am i being too detached?’ plague his mind every time it ends, and most often of all the ‘am i not enough?’ lies big and bright in the middle of all his questions. over time, it’s only natural for juyeon to stop trying to date people out of kindness and save himself the heartbreak, and to stop fighting for people who never had plans to stay in the first place.

‘hey there,’ a senior male idol approaches him as he came down the stage after pre-recording. juyeon slows his steps and let his members go first as he greets his senior back with a slight bow, ignoring the way hyunjae was smirking at them. juyeon has grown accustomed to seeing this senior idol and his group along with his not-so-subtle winks thrown his way every time their comebacks matched up.

‘hello sunbae, it’s good to see you again’

the senior smiles even wider, clapping on juyeon’s back and complimenting him on his performance. they stand there for a few minutes conversing, if you can call it a conversation when all juyeon does is nod along and occasionally chuckle while the male idol goes on about whatever topic they’re on. juyeon knows his senior means well and he may have actually reciprocated his interest if this happened a few months ago when juyeon was still willing to meet new people and go along with their amends but after the last fling that went south, juyeon is just simply tired of people trying to get into his pants, with no intentions to stay.

‘i’m sorry sunbae,’ juyeon interrupts before he ends up spending another fifteen minutes listening to his senior go on about all the idols dating in secret. juyeon just wants to go back home and spend time with his members or just rest up alone in his room. ‘but i really have to go, my members are waiting for me.’

‘oh of course,’ the senior immediately replies, a faint blush covering his ears. ‘sorry about keeping you behind. oh, by the way can i-’

‘i really have to go sunbae, it was nice talking to you’ juyeon interrupts once again and turns to leave, knowing exactly what his senior was about to ask and escaping it. juyeon knows that it’s just going to be another fling, he knows that he’s going to be the only one giving it all just for them to leave in the end.

juyeon lets out a sigh as he settles in his seat on the car, ready to take a nap in order to ignore the loud thoughts in his head. he asks eric to wake him when they arrive to the company before sticking his air-pods in and closing his eyes, missing the concerned look from a certain blue-haired boy. _it's okay,_ he thinks, _i'm used to it anyway. t's just how it is._

~~~~~~

**_이렇게_ _혼자_ _남아도_ _,_ _결국_ _흘러갈테니까_ __  
(even if i remain alone like this, it will eventually flow by itself)  
never mind, it must be fine  
i didn’t wanna play, i didn’t wanna date, i didn’t wanna say**

if juyeon is known for his charismatic look and innocent smiles, changmin is just as popular for his adorable resemblance to a squirrel and his mischievous smiles. they're decorated with a side dimple that appears whenever he has a new idea in annoying his members which he knows he can easily get away from being reprimanded with a single pout. growing up with two affectionate older sisters has resulted in changmin’s adorable and child-like personality that makes people want to roll him up in the fluffiest blanket and protect him from everything evil in the world which in all honesty is kind of useless considering how much changmin is obsessed with every horror related thing.

changmin who is known to capture people with his soft smiles and giggles can also hypnotise every single person in the audience with his piercing gaze accompanied by his sharp and passionate dancing. changmin is a great dancer, if not one of the best in the industry and this can be seen by anyone that pays attention to his performances and how much effort he puts in for each of them. all his members and the company all know how essential changmin is to the team and relies on him whenever they have a new song and album to showcase, or events like a recent competition show they won by a long shot even when they were against some of the best performers and seniors.

changmin always works so hard, always pushes himself beyond his limits, always trying his best to improve and play his part in his group success. he’s not the type of person to share his constant burdens or worries and is more comfortable being by himself in the state of vulnerability. due to this, changmin has never been interested in relationships or even meeting someone on date. the idea of getting close to someone both emotionally and physically, letting them poke holes through his thin walls that holds his flaws, his worries and his insecurities is something he never wants to risk.

his hyungs and members have always told him he’s always welcomed to talk to them about his problems, to not keep his worries and burdens bottled up and that he can lean on them as much as they lean on him. sometimes changmin’s walls does crack enough for his emotions to spill out against his best interest and when that happens, his members have always been there to receive it all and take the time to comfort him. however, changmin still tries to keep his reservations to himself as much as he can whether they may be his silent tears underneath his covers or his impending feelings for a certain red-haired member.

changmin has been harbouring his feelings for juyeon ever since their trainee years. being the first trainee at the company, people would usually expect him to be close with all the trainees that joined after him but due to him living so far from the training centre, he’s never had enough time to build proper friendships. then he meets juyeon, who captures changmin’s attention with his sharp yet graceful dance moves, who uses his long limbs to his advantage when he dances, who radiates the aura that he is indeed born to be on stage. juyeon being the friendly person he is, befriends changmin first and changmin gladly accepts, overjoyed with the fact that he gets to meet another trainee that shares the same passion for dancing as he does, and the fact that they’re the same age delights him.

changmin subtly watches juyeon’s tired face as he naps on the car, watching his head loll around with the car’s movement. changmin thinks about changing his seat and letting juyeon use his shoulder as a pillow but decides against it seeing how juyeon is now leaning against the window and looking comfortable. changmin is always looking out for his members whenever he can but with juyeon, he can’t help but pay attention to every single thing juyeon does. he dotes on the younger members and let his hyungs rely on him when things get too much but with juyeon, he watches from a distance and does not reach out unless the older boy reaches out first.

changmin, along with the rest of their group is well aware of juyeon’s popularity within the industry and his dating history. this is also part of the reason changmin has never acted on his feelings for juyeon, knowing he’ll only be signing up for heartbreak. however, he has gotten used to seeing juyeon with another significant other, and has listened to him gush about them over the years all the while changmin’s heart breaks little by little. the fact that juyeon can’t see someone who’s right in front of him, someone who's been in his line of vision for the past few years breaks changmin's heart, believing there's no chance. he has never resented him for it though, it’s just how juyeon is, he knows.

juyeon coming into changmin’s life in such a fateful way has let changmin thinking juyeon is his person, but to his own disappointment, he learns that juyeon is just a friendly guy with an incredible personality and. changmin would rather keep all his problems and worries to himself, no matter the encouragement from the members when the only person he wants to share every thought with is already a confidant for a lot of other people. changmin tries to push his thoughts to the back of his mind as he gets ready for practise, reminding his members to stretch properly. _i’m alright,_ he thinks, _i’ll be okay by myself,_ _i’ve already endured for this long, it doesn’t make sense that it’s bothering me now. it’s just how it is._


	2. hold you tight

**_네가 돌아선다면_** **_다가갈게 꼭 잡을게  
(if you were to turn around, I’ll approach you and hold onto you tightly)_**

juyeon can feel the muscles in his body screaming at him to take a break and rest for a while but he just keeps glaring at himself in the mirror and keeps on dancing, focusing on each move and the loud music blaring from the speakers. the song comes to an end and he can hear all his members falling flat on the ground with heavy pants, some grabbing water while some just groans and lie right there on the spot. everyone in the company knows how hard they practise and the strenuous choreography they have does not help with the exhaustion that follows them after each practise.

as the main dancer in the group along with changmin, juyeon also has a lot of pressure on him when it comes to making sure his group is delivering the best performance possible with each comeback. juyeon knows his hard work does pay off as he can clear see the amount of recognition his group and himself are recently getting from the general public.

‘should we call it a day now?’ sangyeon voice rings out from where he was sitting and hydrating himself.

‘yea i think that was a pretty satisfying practise,’ juyeon nods at him from the mirror, agreeing immediately as he can’t wait to just crash in his bed, ‘and we can order some takeout and just have a chill night. changmin?’

juyeon looks at the boy who’s still doing a particular move right in front of the mirror, eyes focused on every step of his own moves. juyeon sees changmin contemplating his choices and he knew then that the younger boy doesn’t wanna call it a night just yet. juyeon can tell exactly when changmin is close to fall into one of his frequent phases of overworking himself and usually juyeon doesn’t interfere, trusting him enough to know his own limits.

‘you guys can go on ahead,’ changmin starts, avoiding juyeon’s calculating gaze, ‘i’m going to stay back for a bit and work through some more moves.’

‘but changmin-ah…’ jacob stands up and walks over to changmin, standing between him and the mirror, ‘we’ve been practising for hours, you should go home and rest too.’

‘no please hyung,’ juyeon hears the whine in changmin voice, knowing perfectly well how changmin’s going to charm his way out of this, ‘this one move looks off and i just wanna perfect it. i promise i won’t be late.’

‘it’s okay hyung, i’ll stay behind too,’ juyeon interrupts when he sees jacob ready to argue with changmin, ‘i’ll make sure we’re both back home by one.’

juyeon knows jacob trusts him to make sure changmin doesn’t overwork himself and also knows juyeon is one of the members changmin listens to the most when it comes to his bad habits. juyeon realises his plans of stuffing his face with takeout and calling it a night early has gone out the window as he stands up to stretch, ready for another round of practise.

‘okay then, make sure to lock the room when you guys leave alright?’ sangyeon says as all the members start to file out of the practise room. juyeon nods and waves before turning back to changmin to see the younger already looking at him with his head tilted. _cute._ juyeon can’t help but smile at his own thoughts.

‘you didn’t need to do that…’ changmin says, looking down at his shoes. ‘i can manage by myself you know?’

‘yea i know.’ juyeon walks over to changmin, making the latter strain his neck to look up to him due to the height difference, ‘but i wanna help you so tell me which part it is that you’re struggling.’

juyeon can’t help but poke changmin’s dimple when the younger smiles up at him in response before walking to the speaker to play the song. they continue practising for the next few hours, filming each other occasionally and monitoring to help changmin with all the parts he isn’t satisfied with. however, when the clock strikes eleven and juyeon can see changmin starting to nit-pick at his own moves, he knows its time to go home.

‘changmin-ah, let’s stop now and go home.’

when the younger does not reply and keeps on dancing without sparing juyeon a glance, juyeon walks over to the speakers to unplug the phone and start packing up.

‘what are you doing?’ the younger turns to juyeon, anger and frustration prominent in his tone. ‘can’t you see i’m still trying to fix my mistakes?’

‘i said let’s go home,’

‘and i said i’m trying to fix my mistakes!’ juyeon can see that the younger is definitely angry now, seeing as he’s about to rip his hair out in frustration and quickly walks over to calm him down.

‘hey hey, what’s going on?’ juyeon tries to level his eyes with changmin’s, grabbing onto his hands to stop him from damaging his scalp any more than the bleach and the blue hair dye in his hair. ‘you’ve been so hard on yourself for no reason today. we’ve already fixed the part you were struggling and you’re not satisfied. what’s wrong changmin-ah?’

changmin starts pushing his palms against his eyes, a common habit that juyeon has recognised as a warning that changmin is about to start crying. warning bells starts ringing in juyeon’s head as the younger starts shaking and sniffling. juyeon knows how emotional changmin can get, he’s known him for years. ever since trainee days, the younger and juyeon have always been there for each other through thick and thin and juyeon has seen the vulnerable sides of changmin more than he can count.

juyeon pulls changmin into his embrace and slowly pats his head, their height difference helping changmin fit his head perfectly in juyeon’s neck. juyeon realises changmin must have been on the verge of breaking down for quite a time, listening to his heart-wrenching sobs. it worries juyeon. the younger used to come to him and talk about what’s burdening him before it gets to this point but lately, he realises the younger and him haven’t had a heart-to-heart talk in a while.

‘you’re doing amazing, changmin-ah,’ juyeon speaks softly, ‘you’re doing more than enough i promise.’

juyeon could feel his shirt get possibly wetter, and also feels the tightening of the younger’s fists that’s gripping the sides of his shirt. juyeon has never told changmin this but he hates to see the younger cry, because its changmin. changmin who’s supposed to have that sparkle in his eyes and dimples in his cheeks, and his high-pitched voice that gets slightly cracked whenever the younger squeals in happiness. therefore, whenever their members see changmin breaking down like this, it is guaranteed the maknaes will start crying too. juyeon knows it’s also probably why changmin tries to not cry in front of the members if he can help it.

‘tell you what,’ juyeon pulls back from the hug, watching the younger hiccup from trying to stop crying, ‘we’ll stop by that tteokbokki place you like so much on our way home. tteokbokki always cheers you up, right? my treat okay?’

changmin nods and juyeon grabs his hands to stop him from irritating his eyes any more than it already is. juyeon packs their stuff, switches off everything and locks the door behind them, and they set out to walk in the chilly air to changmin’s favourite restaurant. the whole time, their hands stay connected, juyeon’s big palm warming changmin’s smaller one up and if juyeon notices the way changmin clings onto his hand a little tighter than necessary, he doesn’t say anything and just secretly smiles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you enjoyed the second chapter with a lot of hurt/comfort thrown in. i haven't exactly figured out how this story is going to go but so far its working i guess. i hope. also a few weeks late but happy new years to everyone. i hope 2021 treats you a lot better than 2020 did.


End file.
